The Transformed Wife teaches some truth, but they are half-truths for itchy ears. In a post, she states,
>>> Women give sex to guys before marriage to keep them. After marriage, many women stop having sex because they got the man and no longer feel they need to have sex to keep them. Oh yes, you do women. It’s why God commands wives to not deprive their husbands. <<<
The whole truth is that the Bible teaches that lust is a work of the human flesh to be battled against, and for BOTH men and women who are married to not weaponize healthy connection to deprive one another.
The full truth is that abusive PEOPLE deprive their spouses emotionally, spiritually, physically, verbally, and even financially for long periods of time. They do this to control and hopefully provoke reaction that they will use against their prey. It is not gender based. It is based on the spirit that is behind the effort.
In church counseling when false gender beliefs are assumed, it can lead to advice that does further damage. In cases where the woman is being deprived, she is not believed and is instead accused of being the problem and counseled to fix it by submitting more to please her abuser.
These gender-based teachings are not biblical and they are dangerous. They silence victims, allow people to remain consumed by lust, allow abusers to deprive their spouse, minimize abuse God hates, victimize offenders, and hinder justice, which allows and encourages abusive people to continue their destructive behavior behind closed doors – all with the church’s permission.
These false teachings hinder and evade consequences that are meant to lead to repentance and reconciliation, leaving the issues unresolved. This cycle ultimately leads to more divorce, the very thing these teachers claim to be fighting against.
Divorce, which is a consequence of sin, is not the enemy. Unchecked rebellion is the spiritual force at play. Marriage is supposed to represent the trinity on earth, but Christ does not use controlling love based on fear and turn people into objects or doormats just to protect an image.
Calling out these teachings is not a matter of persecution or conviction. People are against them because they misrepresent the truth and it is only the whole truth that can set people free.
If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. – John 8:31-32
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. – Colossians 2:8
For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. – Galatians 5:17
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. – Galatians 5:19–21
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:5
