I can’t believe how many times I’ve been manipulated into believing that needing help, grace and support means I’m doing something wrong and there must be something wrong with me. I’ve walked away believing I struggle because I’m not trying hard enough, I’m not strong enough, or I’m just don’t understand how to get from where I was to where I needed to go.
Turns out, human decency is the bare minimum. There’s nothing wrong with expecting the same basic human decency that I expect myself to freely offer to others. I fail sometimes, but I earnestly try because everyone is valuable.
The truth is that in life sometimes we get betrayed. People are unhealed, fake, and sometimes intentionally evil, but the harsher reality is how often we betray ourselves because someone (or a plethora of people!) we trusted with our hearts used them to manipulate and take advantage, making us feel that expecting basic love and human respect is just too much to ask.
People who openly mistreat you, show indifference to you, or demand things from you when you’re in a vulnerable place are probably going to betray you because these are the fruits of the betrayer, but you don’t have to play their mind games. You don’t have to listen to their false version of God’s love and try to fit inside their narrative. You don’t have to walk away believing there’s something wrong with you because you expected them to offer what they promised. We will be betrayed in this life, but you don’t have to open up your heart in that and betray yourself.
God’s people will show up with compassion; they won’t treat you like a burden or a waste of their time. They won’t make you earn their time, energy, gentleness and grace. People who think that God’s love is something that should be earned are showing you that they are not there to support you. They are there to derail you, and God is not calling you to try to change them. His Word commands you to guard your heart, hold onto the Savior, and resist them.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. – 1 Peter 5:8-10
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”- Proverbs 4:23
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. – James 4:7-8
