PROJECTION is a natural human tendency that is often used by the enemy. It is common for trauma survivors to waste precious time trying to get unhealed people sent by the enemy to like them or understand them. It’s a dynamic that can bring comfort from having to survive damaged family relationships and it’s one of the enemy’s tactics to trigger old wounds and self-destructive patterns of thinking.
Unhealed trauma survivors can become enmeshed inside of other people’s emotions and words very quickly because of the misconstrued programming for attachment, so the significance of guarding the heart is amplified and required in order to move forward with healing.
It’s important to understand that what people see in you is a reflection of their own heart. Those who don’t see you may create a version of you that comforts their own insecurities because they are just hiding from themselves.
For iron to sharpen iron, it’s imperative that God’s people listen to others, but in a discerning way that takes thoughts captive in order to obey Christ, not in a way that allows others to gain unfiltered access to our hearts. It is possible to listen to others and also let their words stay as their words.
When overcoming trauma this can seem easier said than done, but rather than avoid discomfort, engage in the battle preemptively by guarding your heart. When someone comes with advice or accusations layered with confusion and misunderstanding, consider their ways, but stand in dignity and don’t let their words define you.
The people God sends to you will see you; they won’t settle for misunderstanding you. They won’t need you to define and defend your character or intentions. God sees the heart. Only He can define you.
“Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.”
(Proverbs 4:23)
