Staying at home and raising my child was my choice, but it cost a career. It has been a full-time job.
ProLife keeps telling me to do both. How? I do not see it being possible. Every choice carries a cost. The truth is that motherhood requires a life change to some degree. Kids can change life dramatically, however, when you’re in a difficult situation and you aren’t surrounded by support. Having kids also alters life when you don’t want nannies, daycare, and the school system to raise them. If these relate to you, that’s fine. I’m not judging you. I’ve lived some of those scenarios. I’m not a conventional mom either. I don’t often fit the at-home mom mold, but why is motherhood only acceptable if we can have it all?
Why do we feel the need to lie to women and convince them that having a child won’t cost them anything? Is it because we are afraid they’ll choose abortion if we tell the truth about motherhood – that love costs something? Well, the truth doesn’t have to be either-or. It can be both-and.
We can tell the truth about abortion and the realities about motherhood because in the end, abortion is always wrong, but lying is wrong too, and if we tell the truth, maybe women will become more realistic and moral. Maybe they’ll begin to trust the truth-tellers who refuse to lie to them.
The truth is that motherhood is messy. It’s full of hardship. It’s full of sacrifice. It’s full of challenges, mistakes and learning. It’s full of character-building. It’s full of healing wounds and growing up. Mostly, motherhood is full of bravery and courage. It tests you, refines you, and battles you, but at the end of the day, you become a conqueror of the unexpected and a survivor. No matter what your unique path looks like, motherhood is truly a warrior’s journey.
The truth is that a mother can have a career or not and still be choosing it out of loving sacrifice for her child. It’s not either-or. It can be both-and. My choice and desire has been to mother full time and it has personally cost me stability and a career. I still see it as fortunate. Choosing to raise a child full-time does carry a cost, but it should be celebrated because it’s not a lesser choice. Just like other choices mothers make in their situations, it’s not a detriment to choose others over ourselves. It’s love.
If ProLife is going to battle the father of lies, it’s time to stop compromising, put away the propaganda and agendas, and just tell the raw truth, not only the truth of the gospel and image-bearers of God,
but also the truth about the warrior’s journey of motherhood because it is only the full truth that holds the power to set people free.
If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. – Jesus – John 8:31-32
The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death. – Proverbs 21:6
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. – Psalm 127:3
Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. – Proverbs 24:11
