I keep seeing this play out, her being attacked, feeling alone, confused, frightened of what will happen to her. I imagine her mind flashing with all the future dreams of her life that she would have to grieve in a chaotic matter of minutes. I imagine if she had kids and the onslaught of questions that would add to her turmoil, wondering what they would go through and what would happen to them.
I can’t help but think of the many abused spouses who feel this way. Some are being bruised and beaten. Others are wasting away slowly, living their lives day in and day out as endangered passengers on that train. They look around for help wondering if they are the crazy ones after all. They wish they had never got on the train, but it didn’t seem uninviting at the time. Now the doors are closed and everyone’s acting like it’s normal. It’s just a normal day watching you die.
You sense that it’s inhumane, but instead of validation, they suggest things like, “It’s God’s plan” and “God will hate it if you leave.” “Just pray harder.” “Just submit and he will change.” “This will be your testimony.” They’re the same things the one inflicting the pain says to you. While they block your exit, the one with the knife gets to wander around doing whatever they want.
Once you realize it’s getting hard to breathe, the train has already taken you to an isolated place of exhaustion and it’s hard to escape. The only way out is through underground tunnels scavenging for survival through the darkness. When you gather the courage to leave, no one tends to your bleeding wounds. They, instead, jump in to save the marriage, minimizing your claims as “conflict”, saying things like, “it takes two,” and suggesting all the same shallow fixes you’ve tried before. You begin to realize you’re only worth existence if you learn to play pretend and hide your wounds, but the problem is, you’re dying.
If you try to plan an escape to find refuge, they scoff at you. When you get desperate enough to jump from the moving train, they leave you on the side of the tracks writhing with nothing as if it’s your punishment to bear. They say things like, “God always restores marriages. Just have more faith.” “How could you abandon someone and hurt your children like that?”
In the lonely aftermath, they gossip about you and only show up to condemn and criticize you, saying things like, “Why didn’t you leave sooner?” “You stayed so long. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
It’s a hard realization to learn that people would rather watch you die than question their own beliefs. Human pride and indifference is at an all-time high, not just in the world, but also inside of churches.
If you fight against divorce for abuse, refuse to acknowledge or fight abuse, and equate God’s salvation to a worldly work and an idolatrous image, it doesn’t matter what you claim. You’re labeling the thief’s snare a holy vow. You’re giving way before the wicked rather than rescuing the weak and needy from them. You’re claiming to honor God while watching people die at the hand of satan’s schemes. You’re projecting your judgments, ignorant statements, and false teachings while women and children around you are trapped in moving trains and dropping like flies.
You may desire to be the Lord’s vessel, but I’m sorry, my friend, I must tell you the truth. You’re not the victim or the hero. This is who you actually are:
the one who doesn’t care.
The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. – Acts 17:30
For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God. – 1 Peter 4:17
The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. – Proverbs 8:13
Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked. – Proverbs 25:26
Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. – Psalm 82:4
Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. – Proverbs 24:11
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. – John 10:10
Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. – Ephesians 5:11-12
